All These Years
by Takucchi
Summary: Holding each other's hand, walking side by side together, exchanging loving words, sharing warmth and kisses... Oh how he wanted it back. But it will never be. He was the one who threw him away. Now his beloved has found happiness; therefore, is it right for him to take it away?


_**AN:** Umm... I don't... This might be crappy. I don't know what I typed in here, uhhh... Don't go chasing me with pitchforks or something. *Hides in a corner*_

_**Summary:** Holding each other's hand. Walking side by side together. Exchanging loving words. Sharing warmth and kisses... Oh how he wanted it back. But it will never be. He was the one who threw him away. Now his beloved has found happiness, is it right for him to take it away?_

_**Warnings:**__ One-sided!(?)AkaKuro/KiKuro, Angst, Some grammatical errors, crap_

* * *

**All These Years**

_Cold._

_So cold._

_"Seijuro-kun... Wh-what are you saying...?"_

_I could feel my voice trembling, I could feel my eyes blurring the second the person I love the most spat words that I could not comprehend._

_"Tetsuya, I am saying that I do not need you anymore."_

_My throat was stuck. Words could not come out. Those once burning red eyes that looked at me with love were now replaced with cold heterochromic ones._

_What do you mean "'You don't need me anymore?!'" _  
_How I wanted to retort back, but I couldn't. My mind started shutting down._

_"You are nothing but a burden. A weakness. And I cannot obtain absolute perfection, thus I need you gone. Out of my sight, out of my mind, out of my life..."_

_No! Don't walk away! Wait!_

_"Farewell, Tetsuya."_

_Without looking back, he said those words- emotionless._

_Seijuro-kun... Please... Don't..._

_"Leave me..."_

* * *

"Nnh..."

I groggily opened my eyes.

How nostalgic for me to dream of him. I could only scoff.

Slowly sitting up from the queen-sized bed, I caressed the empty side of the bed.

It was cold, and empty.

It had been so long since I saw those golden eyes whom I promise to spend my life with.

"_I want to see you soon._" I thought

I snapped out of my reverie and prepared myself a warm bath.

Better hurry to work.

I wonder if Mei-chan and Jun-kun made up? Kids are such a handful sometimes. But you can't help but love them, their innocent smiles and dreams.

Anyway, I wore my winter jacket to protect me from the cold and slipped on my white sneakers.

After locking my door, I walked towards the kindergarten school I was working at. It was just a good five minute walk until I reach my destination.

When I arrived, kids flocked towards me and some even tugged my shirt.

"Sensei! Good morning~!"

"Hi Sensei!"

"Sensei what are we playing today~?"

I chuckled at their cute antics.

"Good morning everyone. Now, now, let us go inside. It's cold out here, we don't want to catch a cold now, do we?"

"Haaaaaaiiii~!"

* * *

I was in the middle of removing my apron when I felt a warm hand pat my back.

"Kuroko-sensei, good job today."

"Thank you, Aya-sensei. You too."

"Better hurry now, the markets are crazy this time of year."

"Well then, I shall be going." with a nod, I left the kindergarten compound and head downtown to buy some groceries.

It was the first week of December.

Naturally, the towns would be filled with couples and families who are out to shop or bonding time. I heaved a sigh.

Oh, how I miss him.

I could feel the cold seep through my jacket. Usually, he would hold my hand or share scarves with me at times like this.

I tucked my hands inside the jacket's pocket. As my hands met, my right hand unconsciously touched the silver band worn on my middle finger on my left hand.

As I was walking, I saw a plane hovering in the night winter sky. Lost in thoughts, I bumped into someone quite hard, but not enough to throw me off my feet. I turned to the person and slightly bowed my head saying a court _"Pardon me."_

But the next thing was unexpected.

_The red that I once held hands with._

_The red that I once treasured._

_The red that I once loved._

"Tetsuya...?"

* * *

I would not say that I was not surprised. After ten long years, I finally saw him again.

I'm not saying this is a coincidence, I was looking for him all these years.

Why?

Even though I was the one who spat cruel words to him- not caring whether he'd break; I still sought out his warmth.  
I tried going into various relationships, I even slept with quite a number of women. But every time, I could feel a part of me just sinking deeper in the cold darkness. Ridiculous ain't it?

I got carried away by my father's absolute orders.

_Perfection. _

It was embeded into my mind since I was a curious little child. He controlled my life, I was aware of that.

That is why when he did not approve of my and Tetsuya's relationship, I did not know what to do; and the result was driving him away.

Now, I finally found him. I can finally make it up to him. When I stared at him, my tongue naturally rolled the name I longed to utter. I did not care how it sounded like. All I know is I'll be damned if I was dreaming, although I am sure as hell that I'm not- At least that's what I chose to believe.

* * *

My eyes did not escape the way Tetsuya's eyes widened slightly when our eyes met. It quickly faded away and his expression returned to his usual poker-face.

"Akashi-kun?"

_Akashi-kun...?_

"Wow, how long has it been?"

_That's it?_

I'm not overreacting, I was expecting him to punch or yell at me or something. I hurt him after all.

He changed. And somehow I was afraid to know what changed him.

I stood there like a pole, unable to speak.

"Would you like to have a cup of coffee with me?"

He smiled.

I could only nod dumbly.

* * *

We went into a small café, there were only a few costumers but it had a nice, quiet ambiance. It was just so like him to choose a place like this.

I felt my lips curve upwards for the longest time.

The usual, Tetsuya picked the seat on the farthest corner. He had always put a lot of milk in his coffee, and up until now I guess he still does so.

Some things never change.

Both of us sipped our coffee in silence. Feeling uneasy, I decided to break the silence.

"I'm sorry."

"Yes...?"

"I'm sorry, I left you."

For the second time, he smiled.

"Un." he replies without looking at me. He was circling his slender fingers on the cups side. He was smiling _fondly_.

"Many things happened these ten years Akashi-kun. But; I have long forgave and forgotten."

_Forgotten_. Just that one word stung.

Now I fully realize how idiotic and foolish I am. The lights of the café made me notice the glinting silver ring on Tetsuya's left middle finger.

_Pain._

_Regret._

"I'm glad."

But I really wasn't.

All these years, I had neglected the one who was supposed to be mine from the start.

And this... Is my punishment.

* * *

"Thank you for accompanying me Akashi-kun. It's nice that we could talk to each other like this again."

"Yeah."

"We can still be friends right?"

"Of course."

I accompanied Tetsuya until we reached his abode. It was a small apartment that was just six blocks away from where we met.

Somehow, regret really ate my conscience. Many times I wanted to ask many things about his activities these past years. But I couldn't bring myself to ask him for I know it would only bring up his old scars.

* * *

Since he was young, Tetsuya was abandoned by his parents. He was left in his grandmother's care at the age of three. I met him when I was five.  
Along with Ogiwara Shigehiro, we were always together. Although Tetsuya and Shigehiro's closeness was more visible. When we reached ten years old, Shigehiro died of some car accident. Tetsuya grieved, so much that he almost broke. That was the time when something inside me urged to protect him.

Tetsuya and I were together until middle school. I was like a protective brother towards him- until I realized he was something more to me than a little brother. I soon became aware of my feelings towards Tetsuya, however, I was utterly shocked when he confessed that he liked me; romantically.

We became lovers at the second semester of our third year in middle school; that was also the day I promised Tetsuya that I would always be by his side. That I would not leave him. Soon after, his grandmother died. I was all that he had.

Yet...

* * *

I waved all the thoughts flooding in my mind. Any more and I'll be thoroughly eaten by guilt.

"Well then, Akashi-kun. See you."

Who would've thought that seeing your beloved's figure walk away could be so painful?

Unconsciously, I reached out for his hand, just mere inches away it could have touched if not for th-

"Tetsucchi!"

Tetsuya looked back in an instant. His eyes were shining with glee, mouth slightly agape and was curved into a genuine smile.

"Ryouta?"

Ah.

So this him.

The one who _saved_ Tetsuya.

The one who _change_d him.

I saw my beloved run to the arms of the blonde pilot eventually wrapping each others bodies with both arms. The blonde lovingly kissed the one I love; somehow, Tetsuya gladly returned the warmth and love that was given to him.

All I could do was be forgotten and watch as the two drifted in their own world.

* * *

_**Yes. I am evil. Somehow works keep on coming, and the others aren't even done yet~! Well, that's me.**_  
_**But I think this is finished. I think. I'm not satisfied tho- 'cause it's rushed.**_

_**Review, yes? :D**_


End file.
